Friends How Many Of Us Have Them…

In today's world you often find people on two sides of the friendship pond…. They either have a group of fillers or don't have any friends. By definition a friend is:
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard, one that is not hostile, a favored companion. And the definition of friendship is: the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship. A friendly relation or intimacy, friendly feeling or disposition. When people say that friends are hard to find I totally agree, being someone's friend is accepting them for who they are flaws and all. It's so easy these days to get caught it in the hype of being the "it group of friends". The media has also help screw up the meaning of friendship as well; on most of the reality shows those women are associates or acquaintances. That's the main reason they cannot keep their drinks or hands off each other. There should be no amount of money that someone offers you to turn on your TRUE friends like that. I consider myself lucky that I was able to find great people during my journey. The crazy part is we don't argue, I have never had to confront them about talking my business, and I feel totally comfortable telling them any and everything if I need to. Friends are there to help you when you fall, I was out of a job for over a year and my friends stepped up and helped me with no questions asked and for nothing in return. You have you learn how to be a good friend, because I myself have not always been a good friend. I had to grow as a person to learn how to be respectful of other people. I think friendship is an honor, so you have to make sure the friends you choose are cream of the crop. Sometimes I hear people discussing their friends business and I get instantly mad because, for gossip sake it may be entertaining but just knowing that this person is sitting here telling all that person business is sad. We someone confides in you they should not have to say don't say anything, please don't tell anyone, or make you swear to high heavens. Something's you should just know not to tell. I need friends who will tell me the truth when needed, listen when needed, and be my advocate when needed. You don't just want a yes man; someone is available to hit the club, pretty in the face, or fat and out of shape to make you feel better. I called friends like those fillers, they just go with the flow and it's cool but the minute a scandal hit they are gone or try to gain from it. Don't be my friend because you ran all your other friends off, you want to boost yourself esteem. Choose me as a friend because you like me, don't just put up with me, be my friend because we share some of the same ideals and beliefs. I don't think the magic is in the numbers or how many pictures you take… it's in the personal relationships you build. If you and your friends have a true bond, people will see that from a mile away. The other week I posted a few pictures from my birthday party and I received so many mixed comments about them. When I sent my co worker the link, and told her that we played around so much we only had 15mins to do the photo shoot. She asked if they where my cousins, I jokingly replied back not all black people look alike...She replied you guys seem so bonded and close. Later that day I looked over the photos and found all the imperfections in the pictures but realized that they were perfect. Would I have preferred a two hour session over the 15 min session (thanks to a timer and chace) YES!!! But looking over the photo shoot I saw the personalities that made me love each and every one of them. I am blessed to have high school friends, college friends, and friends along the way. My relationship with each and every one of them is different and I love it!!! And the added bonus is they all get a long…which is why I know I choose the perfect group!!! If you have good friends cherish them and if you have questionable friends let them go!! Nothing should be complicated about friendships they should be natural….

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down-
Oprah Winfrey

 

I was reading an article the other day named 6 types of friends you should not have and they gave a celebrity example of each which I found interesting: Make sure to comment and tell me what your thoughts on each are

 

1. The Drama Queen (NeNe Leakes)

2. The Bully (Tami Roman)

3. Ms.Self Absorded (Tamar Braxton)

4. Mrs. Two Faced (Suzy Ketchem)

5. The Instigator (Chrissy Lampkin)

6. The one with too many man problems (Jennifer Williams)

 

On the flip side I read an article awhile back about what types of friends you should have,

 

1. The cheerleader
   
2. The big Momma
   
3. The paper chaser
   
4. The wing women
   
5. The party girl
   

Divine At 29.......

I am blessed to say that GOD has allowed me to be on this earth for 28 full years, on January 17 I started the next chapter of my life….. And boy did I start chapter 29 off with a BANG…… thanks to my friends and family I was given two surprise gatherings. I am truly blessed…. I have amazing people in my life who thought enough of me to want to surprise me. My first gathering was held at Hotel ZaZa…. Which included make-up, pictures and girl talk, after that we went to one of my favorite restaurants Maggiano's then after a great dinner we met up with some more friends and partied at grooves… And we sure had fun!!! My second gathering was the next day which was done by some family members… Food, Drinks and good music!!!! After the house party we went to our local club and partied longer!!! Here are a few pictures and a slide show below Hope you enjoy!!!

Letting Go of Grudges….

You have to let go of your grudges whether it's a justified grudge or not….. We all have seen friendships and relationships disappear in the blink of an eye. When is it time to bury the hatchet and move on? Its awkward being around someone you would normally talk to and after a disagreement you can barley look each other in the eyes. Why do we hold on to such senseless grudges, even when you have moved on from it or made peace with it? I think people may think extending the olive branch is the same as waving the white flag. The fear that the other person may reject your offer to move past the situation, which does happens. When a person chooses to hold ill feelings towards you, make peace with it and be done. It really bothers me when you hear people say (myself included) "I have not liked her since high school, she was talking to such and such while we were together" Really? How many times have you moved on, she moved on, and he moved on, yet you are still holding on the bitterness… Not saying that everyone you have beef with you should reach out to and skip down the street holding hands. But those you come into contact with on regular basis (family members, close friends, co workers, church members, in laws etc) smooth things over so when you see each other you can act normal and not have the room full of tension. Doing so will help you stay off "defensive mode" while in their presence. Sometimes writing a letter and saying what's on your mind can work wonders. It can start an open dialogue to fixing the problems that you and that person may have. It's crazy because I wrote this Blog Post last week and never posted it. I attended bible study last night and this was our group lesson, so I had to share. While writing this blog I know that I as well need to tie up some loose ends with a few folks. Just to free myself!!! It is my hope that you will read and share the post with someone, and you maybe extend the olive branch or bury the hatchet. Make sure to share your experience if you choose to challenge yourself to let go of old baggage…. LET IT GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Educated folks

Everyone should be proud of any accomplishment but when does being proud turns into bragging? You never really know how a person feels when you slap them with " because I have a degree" Just some random girl talk opened my eyes to what other people really and truly thought about those who throw their education in everyone face. Being that I am a college graduate I can fully understand the happiness and joy a person may feel to have received any type of degree. But even for me it bothers me when people use the "I have a degree "term on the regular. The fact that you have a degree is not relevant in every conversation, if you are having a casual conversation people really don't want to hear that. If a person knows you then I am pretty sure they also know your educational background. If the conversation is about school or even job opportunities then it's more appropriate. During the girl talk I could totally relate to the fact that maybe this person did not have someone to push them to do better, they had a very bad childhood and maybe have not recovered from it, maybe they want to go to school but don't know where to start. I use to hate the saying "school is not for everyone" now I get it, there are truly successful non famous people without degrees and the fact that you have a piece of paper does not make you any better. Sometimes I feel that by people always throwing around credentials they are trying to make themselves appear to be better than others. By no means am I telling anyone not to be proud of having a degree, but at the end of the day you have to been mindful of those who did not have the opportunity to experience such a wonderful accomplishment.

GOOD BYE 2011….HELLO 2012

Well it's that time of year again….. Time to wrap up 2011 and welcome 2012 hopefully with a positive outlook. We all know that once the New Year comes we all make promises of a clean and new start. While some folks embrace the good intentions of others. Some folks find it a little bit unnecessary to say things you know you will not do. Here are my thoughts on it. Some say why wait to the New Year; I am a firm believer that if someone wants to change I support them. Sometimes you can really impact a person by being supportive. We all get to a place of understanding at different times, so just because you find God, lose weight, stop smoking, etc at a certain time in your life does not mean everyone has to come to that understanding. We are quick to judge the who,what,why of others when we should focus on your own personal growth. While in Wal-Mart during the Christmas holiday I overheard some ladies discussing why such and such at work saying how she is going to lose all this weight starting the first. While standing there is became very apparent that these ladies were jealous of her. If she is fat and out of shape as they claim she is they really should be happy for her, and support her. On the way home all I could do is think about the fact that I did not want to be those women. I would like everyone who reads this post to think about all the things they would like to change about yourself and write it down seal it up and in June look at it and see have you made an effort to work on your changes. 2011 has been a great year but I am super excited to see what 2012 and beyond holds for me!!

 

Here is my self evaluating list:

Learn how to manage money better

Work on a few relationships I have not been seeing to

Laugh more

Lose weight

Grow my blog more, and my event planning more