Unanswered Prayers

When people make the comment "I am so in love with myself" I always thought duh...that's just a fact of nature Everyone love themselves. More and more each day I am totally understanding what that term fully means. Growing up I knew what I wanted Husband,Kids, and a dog. Lately things have changed.Before you dismiss this as one of those " I love being single"rants... having those things are still in my plans. But the other day it hit me that I have been blessed not to have some of those prayers answered. When you have time make sure to listen to the old Garth brooks song called unanswered prayers its really a great song. I think motherhood is great but was I ready for that all those times I wished I could have a child... would I have been half the mother I had? Would my child have all that I had as a child? I would like to say yes but, the truth is I had a lot to learn and still have a lot to learn... Sometimes I wake up and just want to lay in bed and do nothing... sometimes I want to come home and not cook.... Sometimes I just want to hop on the next plane south of nowhere..... Would that have been fair to my child? Would I have resented my child for breaking up the party? Would I have dropped it all? The answer to that could never be answered. What if that guy I thought was my prince charming asked for my hand... and I said Yes? Would I been able to... Cook dinner to satisfy him, Would I have been selfless enough? Would I have worked hard to compliment his life?Would I keep him interested? Its a fact that nature molds us and for the most part I could have been a great mother and wife, But its also a fact that you should never rush nature. Sometimes people make you feel Bad or even less than for not being a mother or wife. I am so sick of "Chiquita you next or Chiquita you need to have a Baby... How about it's not written for me yet I think when My time arrives you all will be entertained. If that's what you are looking for, or maybe you think I am unhappy. I know I am not the only person going threw the " Your clock is ticking stage" And I get it but... Not everyone get it!! You never know what the person you are teasing with " You old as dirt" jokes is going threw. Maybe that person it trying to have children and is unsuccessful, Maybe they want to be married but have not found that special one yet!! I am sure in the next few years I will be on the road to motherhood and maybe even married.. Just let me get there on my own... just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care some of gods greatest gifts are his unanswered prayers!!